Friday, June 17, 2011

The Jobbie Awards

My sister Holly and I were talking about what we wanted at our funerals the other day (morbid, I know). I told her that her job was to be the comedy relief for the funeral and tell people my quirky, funny stories. She said she would start with all the random jobs I've had. So I'm dubbing this post the Jobby Awards. Here goes.

Worst jobs:

1st place: My 8-hour stint of telemarketing. I felt like I'd sold my soul to make a buck. Especially when one of my victims said she couldn't attend the seminar I was touting because she was having chemotherapy that day. Boy, did I ever feel like a dog.

2nd place: minion for Propel Media. I was supposed to be helping them with webinars and SEO. I turned out to be a data entry peon that they didn't even take the time to train. They didn't seem to like me at all, and the feeling was mutual. We went our separate ways after about 2 weeks. To put it in perspective, when I got hired on at the laundromat a month later, I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven.

3rd place: In an effort to regain my soul from telemarketing, I told the temp agency to find me another job, which they did. I worked picking product in a warehouse for a vitamin supplement company. It was pretty much 8 hours a day of walking, which did keep me in great shape. But the boss was a jerk, and it wasn't the most intellectually stimulating job.

Most random jobs:

1st place: Reptile handler at a life science museum
2nd place: R&D minion for Hot Pockets
3rd place: Freelance writer on the subject of liposuction


Favorite job:

1st place is tied between reptile handler and reports editor for KLAS Enterprises

Other random places I've worked/things I've done:

*sign dancer
*florist shop worker
*packager at a drill bit factory
*eBay seller
*dry cleaners
*laundromat
*Schlotzsky's Deli
*Tokyo Joe's (fast food japanese)
*day camp counselor
*data entry
*transcriber for Southern Paiute (a Native American language) legends
*conference planner
*dish washer
*whiskey packager (at a place that made cochlear implants, no less)
*administrative assistant
*internal education program coordinator

...and those are just the ones I got paid for. What are some of the random jobs you've had?

4 comments:

Katja said...

Wow are you even old enough to have worked so many places? I guess your resumè is very well rounded. :) I think the only weird job I have had was to work at the issue room (P.E. Shirts) at UVSC. We had a great time in the summer, not many people came so we got to watch movies all the time and I got paid $5.35/hour. :)

farmerette said...

I can't believe you've had so many different jobs. Did you start working when you were 5? I've only had a few jobs. The best was my first, working for the Department of Ecology, first picking up litter, then working in the office. Worst job was working as a temp. at a mortgage company. Easiest was working as a receptionist at a frieght brokerage. My job was to answer the phone if it rang more than 8 times. I read a lot of books while working there.

Jessica said...

Cool post. I really haven't had any random jobs---just ones I hated. Like the job when we were first married, didn't have ANY money, and I got up at 5 in the morning to chisel away food at the plates of those who ate in the Morris center. I can still remember the misty combination of smells that came from the dishroom--it still makes me nauseous to this day. Hands down THE worst job. I have ever had. It was awful. Best job? The MTC. :)

I cannot believe how much of a mini-Jenni that cute Eliza is of yours! Adorable! And that hair--she makes me jealous.

Jess said...

Here are some of mine:

truck dispatcher
newspaper columnist
tree planter
telemarketer
pro bono fashion model
papergirl
caterer
family letter transcriber
wedding pianist
dog walker
security guard
English teacher